by Shari McMinn

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (I Thessalonians 5:16-19 ESV).

When my children were young, the Thanksgiving to New Year’s holiday seasons were filled with anticipation of good food and good gifts, but also the dread of excessively poor behavior brought on by the special needs of some of my children, the five youngest of whom suffered from pre-adoption childhood trauma. Although we loved all the excitement, Christmas pageants, holiday decorations, and fun times enjoying winter activities, we realized that along with the good came the bad, and occasionally the really ugly meltdowns.

Our relatives did not understand why we did not want to get together with them to celebrate traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. They struggled to understand our avoidance of sugary sweets and gift overload. Despite our sharing with them about our children’s struggles in large crowds and events with high expectations for “good” behavior, they thought us snobbish and rude. Oh well, what could we do?

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