by Shari McMinn

And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn (Luke 2:7 NKJV).

We all know the story. We have read it perhaps over and over again. Many of us heard it as children and now read it to our own families. We watched it portrayed with goofy costumes on little rascals in church pageants. Major motion pictures have retold it in multi-million-dollar productions. But do we really understand the gravity of what happened in Bethlehem two thousand years ago? Can our children — even the most cognitively delayed or emotionally traumatized — grasp their sinful needs of a Redeemer Who is also their Friend and Comforter? Can we understand our own needs for a Redeemer as harried and overburdened parents?

by Shari McMinn

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (I Thessalonians 5:16-19 ESV).

When my children were young, the Thanksgiving to New Year’s holiday seasons were filled with anticipation of good food and good gifts, but also the dread of excessively poor behavior brought on by the special needs of some of my children, the five youngest of whom suffered from pre-adoption childhood trauma. Although we loved all the excitement, Christmas pageants, holiday decorations, and fun times enjoying winter activities, we realized that along with the good came the bad, and occasionally the really ugly meltdowns.

Our relatives did not understand why we did not want to get together with them to celebrate traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. They struggled to understand our avoidance of sugary sweets and gift overload. Despite our sharing with them about our children’s struggles in large crowds and events with high expectations for “good” behavior, they thought us snobbish and rude. Oh well, what could we do?

By Shari McMinn

Ghoulish masks. Headstones. Risque costumes. Scary Clowns. Witches and warlocks. Do you agree that this is the sight in every single store you enter during October, even when just to buy groceries or gas?

When two of our adopted children — who were among my unique learners — joined our family, our caseworker cautioned us that they were afraid of the “scary clown,” having been seriously traumatized by watching the “Chuckie” movie as impressionable toddlers. Well, I would have been traumatized watching that myself as an adult! Knowing this, we learned to avoid taking them to circuses and rodeos where clowns are often part of the entertainment. We also had to avoid taking them to stores during October, but early Halloween displays already set out in late summer caught us off guard! We discussed their trauma flashbacks before, during, and after such encounters, but it did not stave off their uncontrollable meltdowns that such evil abruptly brought into their lives. 

Our family shied away from “trick or treat,” even at churches that offered alternatives, because kids and adults would show up in inappropriately scary costumes, retraumatizing my children all over again. The bottom line is: there is evil in the world, and October 31 is a high holiday for those who practice it. So, how do we prepare our unique learners to be in the world but not of the world, especially during this scary season? I know the month is nearly over, but wanted to suggest you can still redeem October 31st.

Here are some strategies we developed over time to help calm our kids and navigate this season of evil: