by Renée Gotcher

As a homeschool graduate (also married to one), deciding to homeschool should have been an easy choice for me, you might assume. However, my experience was not so straightforward when it came time to make a decision. Even though I held a positive view of homeschooling and appreciated my own experiences, I hesitated when weighing the option to send our eldest daughter to preschool or start homeschooling her.

Having been homeschooled for most of his school years, my husband was definitely on board. However, after we were married, I dove into a time-consuming career in journalism, and as I rose through the ranks, I put the idea of homeschooling on the back burner, thinking I would feel “ready” when the time came. 

Now a work-at-home mother of two, I still wasn’t sure I was “ready.” Given my background, I expected to feel more equipped and confident than someone new to homeschooling. Yet as I considered the highly regarded, quaint Christian preschool in our neighborhood, I thought: It’s just as good, if not better, than my inquisitive three-year-old spending all day with me. The teachers are precious, the class sizes are cozy, their classmates are sweet and well-mannered, the curriculum is agreeable, and it’s even affordable.

I found myself wrestling with the same fears and misconceptions that often cause parents to question whether homeschooling is a viable option for them. Fears such as: 

• I don’t have enough time/money to homeschool. I need to work to help support our family, and homeschooling is an all-consuming proposition. Plus, if I don’t work or only work part-time, how will we afford all the curriculum, supplies, and activities on top of our regular household expenses?
• I don’t feel qualified to homeschool. I’m not as skilled as those lovely, creative teachers who know what they’re doing.
• My child won’t have enough social interaction. I don’t want my child to miss out on anything, but can I handle the responsibility of doing “all the things” so she can make friends?  
• My child will have trouble getting into college or having a successful career. If I feel ill-equipped now, how will I be able to teach the subjects required for college admission and acceptable SAT/ACT scores?

I’ll be honest — I allowed some of these fears to keep me from homeschooling for those first few school years. But fast-forward 14 years and three homeschool graduates later, I can confidently say that common misconceptions about homeschooling are just that: misconceptions. 

If you’ve been homeschooling for a few years, you have probably debunked some of these homeschooling myths yourself. But if you find any of these fears holding you back from starting or continuing to homeschool, let’s tackle them together.

Misconception #1: I don’t have enough time/money to homeschool

The concern about having enough time to homeschool stems from comparing a traditional school day to what you’d have to do at home. Students spend six-plus hours away from home when they go to school; however, teaching 30+ students simultaneously in a classroom requires significantly more time than in one-on-one or small-group learning environments. 

Although I should have known better (homeschooling never took all day at my house growing up), I feared it would be much more time-consuming to teach a preschooler with a toddler and newborn baby in tow. If I have to teach all the basics—and keep them engaged with hands-on activities and outside field trips—I won’t have enough time for a job that pays (more on that fear below). And how will we all feel about being home together all day, every day?

As you can guess, I found that we weren’t stuck at home all day, every day, and that, yes, I could even handle a paid job around our homeschool schedule. I worked a variety of part-time and at-home jobs over the years, and I didn’t have to shortchange our homeschool schedule to make that happen. In fact, some jobs can become part of your homeschool plans, such as being a paid teacher or assistant at an enrichment program or extracurricular activity your family participates in.

As for affordability, I learned that you can successfully homeschool without purchasing expensive curriculum packages for each child at their grade level. The need to buy shelves full of curriculum is another misconception stemming from our traditional school experiences, where new books were required each year in every subject. As a homeschooler, you have the freedom to choose the method, books, and tools you will use, and to teach multiple ages simultaneously (when possible).

 A few subjects, such as reading and math, require individual attention to your child’s skill level, yet that doesn’t require a costly curriculum. Finding used and even free homeschool curriculum is easier than ever thanks to used curriculum sales, online marketplaces, used books retailers, and homeschool group or church donation centers. When my girls were young, we took a weekly trip to the public library and checked out books to complement our subjects for the week. Not only was this a fun family outing and social opportunity, but my girls got to play a part in our lesson planning, with age-appropriate books on the same subjects. Best part: It was also FREE!

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21).

Sure, it is going to take planning, flexibility, some sacrifice of non-essentials, and some of your “free” time to homeschool effectively while working or raising your young ones alongside your homeschooled children. I’ll be honest: I’ve never earned anything close to my past salaried job as an editor and our budget was tight. But it is possible—and it is absolutely worth it! Not only do your children learn from your example of self-sacrifice, but they also get to experience serving when they become family helpers, which keeps homeschooling sustainable as your family grows and your schedule becomes busier.

Misconception #2: I don’t think I’m qualified to homeschool

When we question our qualifications to teach school subjects to our children, we forget the most significant difference between a trained, traditional teacher and a teaching parent: While a teacher has expertise in subjects or methods, we have years of experience with our children and know them better than anyone else. Not only that, we have already been teaching them for years, just different “subjects.” When it comes to teaching those new subjects, you have access to a plethora of curricula, teaching tools, and ready-made lesson plans to support you.

Yes, teaching unfamiliar subjects may require some self-education, but you’ve also been learning all of your life — you can study whatever you need to know to support your teaching efforts. My husband’s father took college courses while homeschooling his three children, then passed on relevant information in lessons they could understand. I’m not saying you need to enroll in classes to teach specific subjects, but if you want to gain more knowledge in a topic you’re not confident teaching, you can learn as you teach.

Being a classroom teacher is just as much about training in classroom management and teaching strategies as it is about subject expertise. When considering homeschooling, remember that you are working with your own children, on your own schedule, and you can tailor the learning experience to their needs and learning styles. Most importantly, you can choose a curriculum with a biblical worldview and resources that support family discipleship.

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NKJV).

If you need help, reach out — homeschool support groups and organizations such as CHEC can answer your questions, provide teaching strategies and resources, and point you to training if needed. Plus, you can always partner with another parent with more experience on a subject and “co-op” it, with the additional benefit of strengthening your community and friendships with like-minded homeschoolers (as well as debunking Misconception #3, below).

Misconception #3: My child won’t have enough social interaction.

Socialization used to be the No. 1 argument I would hear from anyone opposed to homeschooling. I remember appalled responses such as, “But how will they make friends? And they’ll miss out on all the fun social activities, like clubs, sports, proms…” Although homeschooling has gained popularity and acceptance, and opportunities to fulfill every social desire abound, parents are often still concerned that their child might become the stereotypical, awkward, introverted, “weird” homeschool kid.

What the socialization myth has in common with the first two is that it assumes the traditional school experience is what works best to meet a student’s social needs, when, in fact, spending all day with peers isn’t necessarily improving their social skills. I’m sure you can remember at least one unpleasant experience during your school years that made you wish you didn’t have to come back to the same class, with the same kids, for the rest of the school year. From what I observe now, social disturbances have become all too common in public schools today.

Studies have shown that homeschooling provides more diverse opportunities to develop social skills than a traditional grade-level classroom. One study found that homeschooled students have high-quality friendships, better relationships with their parents and other adults, and, as teens, demonstrate greater social responsibility and less emotional distress and troublesome behaviors than their peers. [1]

Although more empirical data is emerging to debunk the claim of a lack of socialization in homeschooling, my personal experience with our three daughters has shown me that children can thrive socially when you homeschool. Although my girls have different personalities, they communicate well with people of all ages and feel confident in their abilities to present onstage, lead groups, and make friends in new environments. All three developed a love for pointing others to Christ through the arts, performing in plays, musicals, worship dance, and choirs. They also volunteer at church and have made quality friendships that continue into their adult lives.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).

Of course, providing opportunities for your children to work with others takes some effort on your part. Our homeschooling schedule included joining co-ops, taking fine arts classes, and committing time to practice to be part of big productions or to compete in arts competitions. 

However, you don’t have to do “all the things” for your children to grow socially and emotionally. We also had seasons of low-key commitment, doing simple co-ops (such as a girls’ book club) and taking just one class they could all participate in (such as PE or worship dance). Whatever you choose to participate in, the decision to homeschool doesn’t doom your child to isolation and exclusion if you get involved and build some community outside the home.

Misconception #4: My child will have trouble getting into college or having a successful career

Of all the homeschooling misconceptions, getting into college or performing with excellence in their chosen career was NOT one of our fears as formerly homeschooled parents. For starters, my homeschooled husband and I met in college—both earning bachelor’s degrees—and I went on to earn a master’s degree in journalism. Our homeschooling experience didn’t hold us back from pursuing our chosen career paths: We both found jobs in our fields of study, and we believed homeschooling would only improve our daughters’ chances of attending college or pursuing any career they chose.

However, this is a common concern for families who haven’t had our experience as homeschool graduates. How can I prepare my student for the SAT/ACT? How do I create a high school transcript—and will colleges even accept it? How do I ensure my student is well-equipped for the college classroom and workload? 

All of these questions are valid, and you should consider them as your child approaches high school age. However, the answer to preparing your teen for college is NOT just to put them back in a traditional school at this point. Just like any homeschooling challenge you might encounter, preparing your child for college or a career isn’t a mystery you can’t solve. 

You have many resources and routes to help your student prepare for adulthood with confidence, such as those provided by organizations like CHEC, dual enrollment programs with Christian colleges, and internship or apprenticeship programs. Support abounds to help you launch your teen successfully after homeschooling!

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand (Proverbs 19:21 ESV).

Although all three of our daughters chose to attend college (one graduated from Moody Bible Institute and two currently attend Bob Jones University), we never focused solely on college acceptance during their high school years. We also didn’t assume they would choose college unless it was the best option for further training in their areas of interest. Our job as homeschooling parents was to support them with the tools to accomplish what was required. And guess what? As with other high school subjects, SAT prep and college admission guides are available online or at the library. Help for transcripts is readily available. You can do it!

Keep in mind that college is not a given for every student, homeschooled or traditionally schooled. College acceptance is not the only sign of homeschool success at the end of high school. As a homeschooling parent, it’s important not to let external markers of success determine your homeschool mission and goals. I have just as many homeschooling friends whose high schoolers chose apprenticeships or entry-level employment in their areas of interest and had no problem getting plugged into the careers they wanted to pursue. The flexibility of homeschooling allows your students to pursue their interests earlier in their journey, often making the transition straight into a related job even easier because of the experience they’ve gained and the contacts they’ve already made.

Remember Who Provides What We Need

In truth, the main obstacle that held me back when we first decided to wait on homeschooling was the fear of failure. As I mentioned, my husband was always on board with homeschooling and prepared to manage the income hit that we would take initially. However, I was the one who allowed fear to convince me that we’d have better control of our finances and lifestyle if I waited until we were “ready.” 

At the time, I didn’t trust God to meet our needs unless I lent a helping hand. I was also afraid that any failure to homeschool successfully would just prove to our naysayers that they were right to question us. However, I realized that my fears were the result of my self-centered desire to do things my way and be successful at everything I do. I had to let go of the belief that the best outcome for our family was within my control.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV).

During those years of “getting ready” to homeschool, the only thing that actually needed to be prepared was my heart. When we made our first step down the road of traditional schooling, my heart wasn’t yet in the right place. Unfortunately, it took a few more years of wrestling with my own will before I finally surrendered it to God. I decided to trust God with His calling to homeschool and put my faith in Him to make it work. 

Once I took that step of faith to homeschool and let God be in the driver’s seat, that fear of failure was replaced with freedom and peace, knowing that God would complete the work He had started in our family. I encourage you to take all of your fears and concerns to Him in prayer and trust Him to provide what your family needs (not what others expect) to fulfill His purposes for you and your children.

Your homeschooling friend, Renée Gotcher

Do you relate to any of these fears? Are you still unsure about the decision to homeschool? Or are you a new homeschooler feeling overwhelmed and full of self-doubt? What concerns do you struggle with about homeschooling? Share your questions in the comments below!

Dive Deeper

• Read “Choose Homeschooling: It’s Worth the Sacrifice!” on the CHEC Blog.
• Listen to “I Wanted My ‘Me Time’ Back—Then God Completely Changed My Mind About Homeschooling” on the Colorado Homeschool Podcast.
• Download your FREE Starter Course and guide to homeschooling in Colorado.

[1] Medlin, R. G. (2013). Homeschooling and the Question of Socialization Revisited. Peabody Journal of Education, 88(3), 284–297. https://doi.org/10.1080/0161956X.2013.796825