by Yvonne Strachan

I set fruit on the table and put watercolors out for art class. Soon, all of us moms were admiring the ways our children painted their unique perspectives of the fruit in front of them.

Then it happened — a toddler had an accident. The conversation shifted as moms discussed different potty-training methods. It was not long before I noticed tears pooling up in one mom’s eyes. “Why is it that everyone else seems to have it together? Yet, here I am, often feeling like I can barely make it through the day. What am I doing wrong?”

We all knew this feeling of inadequacy — perhaps a little too well. Desperate to provide comfort, I quoted Teddy Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” From the look on that mom’s face, I knew that my feeble attempt to comfort her did not help.  

The Irony of Comparison

I glanced at my daughter’s paper sitting on my counter, knowing I would need to critique it after everyone left. How ironic! It happened to be a compare-contrast essay. I contemplated why we teach our kids to write impactful essays like this when culture tells us to comfort each other after noticing our differences. Why is comparison favorable in one situation yet awful in another?

As you continue reading, you will uncover powerful ways to anchor yourself in biblical principles as you navigate the complexities of comparison and break free from its trap.

Unhealthy Comparison

We can learn from the painted perspectives and talents those children displayed that day in art class as we contemplate the concept of comparison. Each work of art reflects unique environments, experiences, and skills, resulting in a beautifully diverse array of artistic expressions.

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that every person is a unique masterpiece created by God for a specific purpose. Do not let the worldly principles of others influence your respect for God’s creation, including YOU!

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding (2 Corinthians 10:12 ESV).

It is challenging not to be impacted as we notice others’ skills, choices, and approaches to home education. As we walk past their windows, we catch a glimpse of our reflections. Instead of marveling at how God has engineered each unique family to function as a unit, we ask, “Who is better — them or me?” We long for affirmation to bolster our sense of self-worth. We must instead acknowledge a fundamental truth about ourselves: we yearn for self-glorification.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10 ESV).

Friends, as we hold on to empty deceit, we miss our greater calling!

Instead of comparing yourself to others, pause and thank God for each person’s unique perspectives, circumstances, and abilities (including yours). And if you are about to speak to someone, give thanks out loud!  

Healthy Comparison

How do we understand the difference between right and wrong, safe and unsafe, or healthy and unhealthy? Much of our understanding comes by comparing what is familiar to what is not. For example, our blood can be tested for above- or below-normal markers, which helps doctors identify diseases. Comparison can be good; we just need to be careful about what we are comparing and why and how we are comparing it.

1 Corinthians 12 acknowledges that people vary in wealth, faith, appearance, abilities, and backgrounds. It also stresses the importance of individuals working together as they use their gifts to serve Christ and others, similar to the way different organs, bones, and muscles collaborate for the human body to function.

Hebrews 6:12 reminds us to pay attention and take inspiration from those who are living out biblical principles with unwavering faith and enduring spirit. We can pursue holiness together by studying biblical principles and recognizing when others demonstrate them well. By learning from their examples, we can humbly apply these principles to our lives.

In Mark 12:41-44, Jesus directed His disciples’ attention to a poor widow. He compares her offering to the offerings of the wealthy, pointing out that she gave everything she had, demonstrating that her ultimate treasure was God Himself.

Think of people around you. Who models a biblical principle that you struggle with? Could they stir you toward being more like Christ in that area?  

How do these principles apply to your homeschool?

Over the past fifteen years, I have encountered moments when I questioned my home-education efforts. I learned that what works for another family may not necessarily yield the same results for me. Although snapshots on social media beckon me to reconsider my educational approach, I recognize they are mere glimpses of exceptional moments and not representations of everyday reality. I now understand that the life someone else is living may not align with the biblical principles or goals I have in educating my kids.

Homeschool mom, you do not need affirmation of your efforts or self-worth! You can trust that God values the complexities He created in your family’s unique circumstances, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses, just as He values you. As you faithfully disciple your kids at home, be encouraged by Philippians 1:5-6 and trust that God would not have called you to this work if He wasn’t going to see it through.  

In Conclusion

You no longer need to feel trapped or brought to despair by comparison. Now you understand that comparison is unhealthy when done to glorify man but healthy when done to glorify God. You feel peace because your focus is no longer on yourself or others. Instead, your new focus is glorifying God as you humbly walk with Him in raising, educating, and discipling your kids.

Blessings, Yvonne Strachan

Have you struggled with comparison? Tell us in the comments below what you learned through your struggle.  

(This blog post was originally published on the CHEC Blog on October 2, 2024.)

About the Author: Yvonne Strachan

Yvonne Strachan has had the privilege of being refined through homeschooling multiple children, a special needs child, and high school students while dealing with chronic illness and working. She taught art classes at a Christian school and at a homeschool art co-op that she ran for a decade. She went on to serve the homeschool community as a homeschool consultant, a radio show host, a blogger, a speaker, the author of Inspirational Homeschooling, and the founder of Inspirational Homeschooling.com.