by guest author Stefanie Bennett

I would like to pose two questions: What kind of relationship do I want your children to have with writing, and how does your homeschooling approach help to shape that relationship?

To answer these questions, it is helpful to first consider our own relationship with writing. Do you savor words like candy? Are they spread all over your life like confetti? Do books and journals surround your bed like a moat? Or are you the person who rejoiced when you finished school, just because it meant you never had to write another paper ever again? Beyond that, can you reflect back on your own history with reading and writing to determine what shaped that perspective?

In my elementary years, I wrote a poem that, two decades later, my father is still quoting to me (and even to complete strangers). I look back on my dad’s delighted response to my writing as the beginning of my love for words. It showed me that words have the power to do things in the real world — to move people, to make them laugh, to challenge them with a new or beautiful idea.

How we respond to our own children’s writing has the power to shape their relationship with words too. Often, we hear both children and adults bemoan, “I’m not a good writer” or “I don’t like writing.” When I hear that, I can’t help but wonder at the experiences that led them to believe those things.

As an educator, would you rather your children love writing first or write proper sentences first? If we teach them to love words, doesn’t that open the door for teachable moments in writing that will last?

But how do we replace the fear and frustration that has been known to accompany writing with a healthy relationships instead? We can do this by recognizing that writing is both a joy and a journey.

Joy is what motivates us to try our best and to keep trying, even when we encounter obstacles. Setting joy before our children — by modeling it in our own interactions with writing, by sharing joy over their work, and in offering positive experiences to them — can help them avoid the drudgery that so many encounter when it comes to putting pen to paper. Certainly we don’t neglect grammar or idea development for the sake of “fun,” but we can challenge our approach and reflect on the ways that we were taught in order to determine what we are offering our children. If we aren’t careful, we can allow grammar and a blank page to rob them of the fulfillment that comes from the process of crafting quality texts. I want my daughter to feel the freedom to create (even if it initially involves mistakes), so long as she sees them as a purposeful part of the journey.

And joy — both theirs and ours — nourishes our children as they take these risks.

Thankfully, joy is not just to be found in the finished product — we can offer it to our children all along the way. Even in the process of writing, which involves patience and perseverance, there is joy which comes in exploring new genres and writing opportunities, discovering a new favorite word or phrase or seeing new ideas taking shape.

When our children get frustrated in their writing process and want to shut down, we can open a window of possibility for them to restore their joy. We can offer them some low-hanging fruit so they can envision potential for success — a well-placed complement or pointing out the areas where they’ve grown.

The beauty of homeschooling is that we know our children so well that we can determine when they are reaching the point of frustration and can offer them the very thing that will specifically encourage them to keep trying. We can step back from the workbook and remember the end-game — the desire to see our children adapt to a variety of writing situations with ease, not because writing is easy, but because they have the experience and tools that tell them they can find success and joy all along the way. If I can help my daughter embrace writing as a joyful journey of discovery filled with challenges to overcome and adventures to be had, I know I will have offered her a nourishing gift.

Joy in Writing at Any Age

No matter the ages or stages of your homeschool children, there are ways to foster joy in writing; nurturing healthy writing relationships that will last. It begins with reflecting on our own feelings about writing and then modeling the journey toward joyful composing.

For Parents:

• Write something that you love — poetry, blog posts, journals, letters, children’s stories, your memoir — to remember the joyful journey.
• Journal about your own literacy history and consider how that might shape your teaching practices.

For Lower Elementary:

• As you read books with your child, talk about what makes certain ones enjoyable for you, emphasizing your reaction of surprise, laughter, or sadness. In the future, use those books to illustrate what good writers do.
• Offer ways to “make marks like mommy” in different settings through chalk, a paintbrush, or crayons.
• Use alphabet bath toys to spell simple words in the tub to mix play and purpose.

For Upper Elementary:

• Share a journal or mailbox with your child where you write back and forth to each other.
• Record and transcribe your child’s next winding story. Read it back to your child, ask clarifying questions, and welcome his or her edits until your child feels that this is a story to be proud of. Then allow your child to share it with his or her playgroup or during a library storytime.

For Middle School:

• Encourage your child to enter local or national writing competitions to instill a sense of excitement about other people encountering your child’s words and ideas. Writers Write has a list of writing competitions: WritersWrite.com/Contests/.
• Explore writing non-academic genres like graphic novels, flash fiction, or a personal website.

For High School:

• Looking forward to future careers, help your teenager discover what types of writing professionals use in the fields that interest him or her — scientific findings, real estate listings, sermons, doctor’s notes, etc. Your teenager can even interview professionals to ask about their writing processes and the important role that writing plays in their fields.