by Patricia Dotten

For the eyes of the LORD roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose hearts are completely His (2 Chronicles 16:9 NASB).

When my son was middle school age, and my youngest daughter was around 7 or 8 years old, we went on a family walk through a nearby neighborhood. It was October and getting close to Halloween — not a good time to go on a walk with your family! My son and daughter were walking together and passed a house with graphic, grotesque Halloween decorations. They really shook up my young daughter. I later learned that her big brother had immediately begun praying out loud over her that God would take the images out of her mind, protect her, and not allow the enemy to have any place in her mind or heart.

What a joy it is when God gives us glimpses of the work He’s doing in our children’s hearts! And what is the work that the Lord wants to do in our children? As I discussed in last week’s blog, 2 Chronicles 16:9 reveals that He wants their hearts to be completely His. The exciting thing is that God invites us to partner with Him in that work! How can we come alongside what God is doing? We can begin by building strong relationships with our children.

Here are a few practical tips to encourage you on this journey: 

Pour the Word into your children.

Saturate your home with the Word of God. Sing it, read it, memorize it, dance to it, act it out, and put it on your walls! 

When my kids were young, they all slept in one bedroom in bunk beds. My husband worked the night shift; so I would tuck each child in, turn out the light, and lay on the floor with my Bible and flashlight. I read from the Psalms until they all fell asleep, sometimes up to an hour. My heart was so full of God’s love for us at the end of those reading sessions! And my children’s minds and souls were being steeped in the life-changing Word of God as they drifted off to sleep. Let us not forget that the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12 NIV), and God promises us that His Word will not return empty (Isaiah 55:11 NIV).

In what ways can you add the Word more into your home life?

Stay home!

Arrange your life so that you have time to build relationships with your children. That means staying at home more than running around. I found that when our schedule was ultra-packed, I missed a lot of what was going on in my children’s hearts. But when we were home, we had time to talk. I had time to observe their behavior and character and to thoughtfully deal with sinful issues as they came up. Keep life simple by staying home. Everyday activities can help you connect with your children. Do chores together, read a book aloud, take care of farm animals or pets together, garden together, cook together, and do laundry together. The simple rhythms of home life provide ample opportunities to bond with your children.

Observe your children.

Think about your children’s interests, likes and dislikes, personality traits, and struggles, no matter how trivial. Mull over these things and pray about them. Write down your observations. Search the Scriptures for verses so you can counsel your children with the Word. 

Keep things confidential.

When your children talk to you, do not share it with your friends, even as a prayer request. Keep the issues of their heart confidential. They have revealed their precious thoughts and feelings to you.

Limit media in your home.

As we all know, social media is killing relationships. Can you check social media only once or twice a day instead of continuously? Pray for wisdom here, as it is getting harder and harder to manage technology in our homes. Consider turning off all screens during mealtimes and after your evening meal to spend more time in relationship-based activities like family devotions, board games, or outdoor walks.

Pray for your children.

I recently came across a tattered 3×5 card with one of my daughter’s names scribbled on it and a list of prayer requests for her. I quickly realized after reading the first request that the card is about 18 years old! Here is what it said: 

• potty training
• for her to learn to come the first time I call her
• that I can speak gently to her and smile more

I am sure I made hundreds of prayer lists on 3×5 cards for my children throughout their growing-up years. It made prayer throughout the day convenient for me. I could slip them into my purse to pull out when we were stopped at a red light or tuck them into my pocket so I could pray when we went on a walk. Nothing draws our hearts toward our children more than praying for them.

Put off anger.

Anger is relationship poison. Pray for the fruit of the Spirit in your own life. When you get angry, repent quickly and ask your family’s forgiveness. Our sins and failures brought to the cross before our children’s eyes can be a powerful illustration of the Gospel to them.

For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:20 NIV)

Read aloud.

I cannot write a blog post without including reading aloud! It was a mainstay of our homeschooling. Read, read, and read some more! I read aloud each day while the kids quietly worked on projects with their hands. We read aloud all through high school. Reading good books together is bonding for you and your children. Our favorites were missionary biographies. Reading aloud is an easy role for Dad to play in your homeschooling. 

Keep your own heart tender toward the Lord.

My pastor reminded us this week that only disciples can make disciples. Homeschooling is discipleship. God-honoring parenting is more about who we are than what we do. So, who am I? If I want my children’s hearts to be soft toward Jesus, then my heart must be soft first.

Be available.

Today, I asked one of my young adult daughters, “What things did I do when you were growing up that connected with your heart?” She answered simply, “You were there. You were always available anytime, day or night, to talk to me, listen to me, and pray with me.” I’m so thankful the Lord enabled me to be there for her!

Time is short. When you are in the midst of changing diapers, disciplining, cooking, and co-ops, parenting can seem never-ending. But raising your kids will go by faster than you could ever imagine. As you begin another school year, I want to encourage you to diligently pursue your children’s hearts and pray that one day, their hearts will be completely His!

Recommended Resources:

• Revive Our Hearts Weekend Podcast from August 24, 2024. Click on the link here: Passing Your Faith to the Next Generation
• Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp
• Age of Opportunity, by Paul David Tripp
• Keeping Our Children’s Hearts, by Steve and Teri Maxwell
• Wise Words for Moms by Ginger Hubbard

About the Author: Patricia Dotten

Patricia Dotten graduated from being a homeschool mom in 2022 after 25 years of teaching her 4 children. She enjoyed every moment of doing life full-time with her children. Her son and oldest daughter graduated from college and are now married. She is excited about her first grandchild that came early this year and she is excited about her 2nd grandbaby due this fall! She resides with her husband and 2 youngest daughters in the Southeast where her daughters attend a small Bible college. Patricia’s favorite thing to do is encourage homeschool moms. If you have any questions or comments, she would love to hear from you at homeschoollifetogether@gmail.com.