By Shari McMinn
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV)
While the above passage, known as part of the Bible’s “Love Chapter,” may be well known to you and me, walking it out in a family with unique learners can be a challenge. When our children feel loved by us, they trust us more, which hopefully, soothes their emotions and helps regulate their behavior. You may already know that protecting, trusting, hoping, and persevering are required to love your sometimes challenging child, but what should that look like every day so he or she feels and understands the love you have for him or her?
Well, the following are my suggestions, based on my experience of raising a number of unique children who encompassed the whole spectrum from special needs to highly gifted:
- Understand that you and your student might express and receive love in completely different ways. With observation and research, implement the best way to show love to him/her.
- Set aside 10–20 minutes each day to just “be” with your child: cloud gazing, listening to soft music, working on a simple art/craft project, or going for a walk — no agenda except to build relationships by physical closeness and conversation about what he or she wants to talk about.
- Pray with your child one-on-one in the morning at the start of your day and at bedtime.
- Verbally compliment your child — more than criticizing him or her — even for simple things such as that he/she got dressed on their own (even if mismatched!) or smiled at something funny.
- Keep humor a priority, especially in the face of adversity; laugh at the absurd with your child.
- Keep your focus on Jesus; look up to Heaven when things are tough and pray for God’s mercy for you to have patience and wisdom in helping your child mature as an end goal.
- Put on your own “oxygen mask” first by having a quiet time with God, reading your Bible daily, even just for 10 minutes while you are still in bed or in the bathroom alone!
Hang in there momma and papa! The days are long but the years fly by. Now that my children are all grown, I see the fruit of my perseverance and unconditional — though imperfect — love for them through the years. For the most part, they are all doing well with adulting though they all have issues I pray for on their behalf. I am closer to some more than others but love each. All have professed faith in Christ, and I pray daily they walk closer to Him, even run to Him. Though I have had my doubts in them and myself, my confidence is in Christ alone. I trust that when I reach glory, the Lord will say “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into your eternal rest with Me!” I pray the same will be true for you.
For a fun family vacation this June, be sure to register for the Rocky Mountain Homeschool Conference, so you can attend the Unique Learners Seminar on BONUS DAY Wednesday, June 12th, and/or the Unique Learners track workshops Thursday-Saturday, June 13–15, 2024. There are lots of kids activities to occupy your children while you attend workshops, but they sell out fast so register NOW!
Looking for fellowship with other Unique Learner parents? Join CHEC Outreach Director, Kashia Davis, as she facilitates a “Community Homeschool Resource and Support Meet-up” for families just like yours at the Rocky Mountain Homeschool Conference. Learn more about the Unique Learner Community meet-up, 11:30am–12:20pm on Thursday, June 13, 2024, on the conference website.
My next Unique Learner blog, “Long-Term Caring for Special Needs Child” will post on March 27th (the 4th Wednesday).
P.S. If you have a topic I should write about, please email me with your suggestion(s). This blog is for you!
Shari McMinn, your trusted homeschooling friend
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