by Shari McMinn

Merry Christmas! And now the New Year is about to begin! 

Relationship Goals for Homeschooling Your Unique Learner in 2026

What are your goals for homeschooling your unique learner this year? Not the home management goals, not the behavior ones, not the academic ones, but the relationship ones. What? You mean you don’t have any relationship goals except stopping homeschooling or moving out? 

Well, I get it. Chaos might reign for today, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. What if I told you that relationship goals, if they were well-established and consistently worked on, would help you and your student(s) begin to achieve the other goals you might have for them and yourself?

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9 ESV).

I don’t know about you, but I often fall into the trap of repaying evil for evil. Especially on social media! If someone taunts me in writing or verbally, it is easy to be snarky right back. But God calls us, as Christians, to a higher standard for dealing with people, no matter the closeness or distance of the relationship. He wants us to have a tender heart, show love, remain humble, and even have empathy for those we don’t want to have sympathy for.

It is easy for us to be unified with our close friends, but what about with our frustrating family members — perhaps in this case, our unique learners? When they act out, do we react out? Do we speak to them with the same disrespect they show us? Guilty! 

Loving Christ Means Loving Your Unique Learner

When we love Christ, the Holy Spirit empowers us to obey our Father in Heaven to express “brotherly” love. We can model for our unique learner a God-honoring, right relationship in the way we love and parent him or her. On our best days, when everything is going well, this is fairly easy, right? But on those days when you wish the yellow bus would come to pick up one or more of your homeschooled students, it is a bit more challenging, don’t you agree?

To start off the new year on the right foot in connecting with your unique learner, here are a baker’s dozen strategies worth striving for daily:

1. Pray to be a patient parent while you are waking up, even before you get out of bed.
2. Sneak in a quick prayer and devotion — perhaps with your bedroom or bathroom door locked?
3. Have a worship song on your lips and in your heart as your day begins.
4. Laugh in the face of adversity, and remember that you yourself are a sinner in need of mercy.
5. Prepare a nice breakfast and try to enjoy eating it peacefully with your family.
6. Compliment each family member with something you appreciate about them.
7. Go for a walk together, no matter the chill in the air, or do indoor calisthenics as a family. 
8. As you go through your day, remember the God of all Creation (and peaceful order) is with you.
9. Follow the 10-20-10 rule: each person gets one-on-one time alone with you 10 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes in the evening.
10. When you are tempted to react harshly, pray, zip your lips, and count to 10, or maybe briefly walk away.
11. Seek forgiveness when you sin in anger or frustration; forgive others quickly.
12. Use positive body language: eye contact, long bear hugs, open arms, and warm smiles.
13. Enjoy being with your unique learner; the days are long, but the years fly by.

Remember, your family relationships are the most important ones in your life, for your whole life! Pour into each person in your household, every day — especially into the ones who are the most needy. If your emotional/spiritual/physical ATM is empty, deposit a few minutes of being alone into it. Ask your spouse, a close friend, or one of your older, responsible children to pray for you and take over for you a bit.

Anchored in Christ, Enable Your Unique Learner to Thrive

Ultimately, your relationship with God will provide you with the fountain of living water that can then be poured out onto your family, including your most challenging child. Be sure to seek Him in all things, all day long, and worship Him weekly for a Sabbath rest.

Hopefully, you can find a church to attend with your unique family. It is worth searching far and wide to find a congregation with biblical leadership that cares for “the least of these,” and for you as their homeschooling parent. Don’t despair — relationships with loving church members can really buoy you up as you work on your parent-child relationships. When you are anchored in Christ, your unique learner will thrive by being in the right relationship with you.

More Help for Parenting Your Unique Learner

Here are a few resources that may be of interest to you regarding this topic and related issues:

• Check out our recently updated CHEC Recommended Resources webpages  
• Download these free Family Brain Training Games for Christmas Break from LearningRx  
• Glean wisdom from this podcast with Israel and Brooke Wayne on intentional time with children 
• Read this article from HSLDA with checklists for learning difficulty vs. disability 
• Register for this FREE January 15, 2026, webinar on How Auditory Processing Affects Children 

My next Unique Learner blog, “School at Home is Different: Transitioning your Student from Institutional School,” will be posted on January 14, 2026 (the 2nd Wednesday).

Shari McMinn, your trusted homeschooling friend  

P.S. If you have a topic I should write about, please email me with your suggestion(s). This blog is for you!

About the Author: Shari McMinn

Shari Howard McMinn has graduated from homeschool teaching and is a professional editor, public speaker, and writer. After living in Colorado for 45 years, she continues to work remotely for Christian Home Educators of Colorado (CHEC) from her new home in the Fort Myers, Florida area. Shari is the author of five books, which are detailed on her website, ShariMcMinn.com. She is an advocate for adoption, homeschooling, safe and stable families, and unique learners. A few years ago, she entered a very fun new season of life: grandparenting! She is available to answer your questions via email, Shari@CHEC.org.